How to Help Yourself Achieve Multiple Orgasms

Tried and true tips from my bedroom to yours.

When I lost my virginity at the age of 17, I didn’t know much about sex. Pretty much everything I knew I learned in health class. When my friends would talk about sex, which wasn’t often, I would nod my head and pretend that I had any idea what they were talking about. Like me, most of my friends went to church and even donned purity rings, but somehow they all seemed to know way more about getting it on than I did.

My first sexual experience happened when I was a freshman in high school, and a senior boy took me for a drive in his car on some back roads. We parked and made out, and then he fingered me in the front seat of his car. I remember getting home that night and wondering why I was so sore and wet. The whole thing was bizarre to me. On the bus ride to school the next morning, I told my best friend about the experience, and she said I must have “came.” That’s why I was so wet. I was convinced she was right, and that explained the whole thing.

She was wrong.

I didn’t achieve orgasm with someone else until over a decade later when I was twenty-seven. When I told the guy I was dating that he was the first to ever get me off, he rolled his eyes.

“I bet you say that to all the guys.”

I smiled and tried to convince him, but I don’t think he ever believed me.

Each time I got with someone new, I would try to let them get me off. But because I was anxious, I never told them what they needed to do to get me there. I’m not even sure I knew at that point, but the one thing I did know was that it took a long time to get my body to orgasm.

My partner would try, usually by going down on me, but I would tense up, worried that it was taking too long, that I smelled or tasted weird, or that they would get bored. Eventually, I would fake it, leading them to believe that they made me “cum so hard,” and then the sex would continue.

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