The Real Problem of Dating People in Their Thirties

It’s not you, it’s the thirties.

The problem of dating guys in their thirties is that they start taking care of themselves. Those that used to smoke pot on Friday nights are now morning persons, suddenly drawn to waking up early on Saturdays to drink hot coffee and read several newspapers before 10 am.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a problem, per se. The problem is being in my mid-twenties. That’s the real nuance. Even though I am a domestic animal, dating for me is still about exploring unknown parts of the city, going out for dinner and having a drink. Or two.

For people like me, dating is an exhilarating oasis in the middle of a grey city.

A month ago, I was invited to a literary festival organized in my city. At the event, I talked all day to this colleague of mine, whom I already knew but hadn’t seen in a while.

By the end of the day, there was a toast, like those with endless refills of red wine. Sometimes, one glass is enough to make people open a little bit more. I was in my third glass of wine when I realized he wasn’t drinking.

“It’s my duodenum,” he said, “I can’t drink because I have this rare condition where it’ll swell if I drink.”

In case I didn’t mention it, he is thirty-three.

I would never blame someone for not drinking, but I knew if something could bring us closer that night was that generous institutionally-funded toast.

“Don’t worry,” I said as I moved — defeated — to the fourth glass of wine.

I said it already. I’m a domestic animal. I love being indoors, reading, writing, drinking coffee, watching a movie, or a series. But when it comes to modern love, I need to go out. I need to have a partner in crime, even if it’s a one night stand. That is, I need an explorer by my side if we are to untangle the intricacies of love.

The last time I went out with a guy in his late thirties, we didn’t go outside at all. We stayed inside, more precisely, on his couch, eating takeaway food, which we didn’t…

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